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The Impressionist
Synopsis Nightclub impressionist Spiffy Remo is blackmailed into helping the government establish communication with Hoffgosh, a seemingly hostile alien who holds the secret to nuclear fusion. Cast *''Chuck McCann'' as Spiffy Remo/"Mr. Personalities" *''Bobby Di Cicco'' as Dr. Coe *''Jack Andreozzi'' as Pudgy *''Claudia Templeton'' as Hoffgosh *''Gene Borkan'' as Angel *''Paul Sparer'' as Narrator Plot Act I A night club called TJ's advertises an impressionist named Spiffy Remo (a.k.a. "Mr. Personalities"). Spiffy is doing impressions of Laurel and Hardy to an amused crowd. He does a few other impressions until he sees someone off to the side that causes him to lose his composure. Spiffy thanks the crowd and then goes offstage. Going into his dressing room, Spiffy is defending his act to the club owner, Pudgy, who thinks the act is old and boring. Spiffy insists that although the audience is familiar with the act, they come back to see him because his act is perfect. When Pudgy compares the act to yesterday's newspaper, Spiffy admits that he was distracted due to the man who made him lose his composure. Pudgy ignores this and just tells Spiffy to freshen up his act. When Spiffy suggests his salary is freshened up, the man makes an offhand comment about the man in the audience and then walks off. Spiffy insists he is worth it, but Pudgy tells him that he doesn't have the money to raise Spiffy's salary. Spiffy follows Pudgy out of his dressing room, prepared to tell him off in regards to the club. However, when he gets to the door, he is met by the man in the audience who had earlier been distracting him. The man shuts the door and shows Spiffy an FBI badge telling Spiffy that the government has a secret mission for him. Spiffy doesn't take this seriously, as he is way too old to be drafted by the military. The man insists that Spiffy come with him, but Spiffy assumes that the agent is simply going to blindfold him and stick him in the trunk of his car. The man tells Spiffy he would actually be laying down in the backseat of the car, but this does nothing to convince Spiffy to go along with him. He tells Spiffy that although he will be paid for his time, he does not have a choice. Spiffy asks if he should use his own blindfold or if the agent has one, to which the agent shows Spiffy the blindfold he has. Act II The agent and Spiffy, now wearing lab clothes, are walking through a hallway. Spiffy hears some bizarre noises and asks the agent what they are. The agent leads Spiffy through a door where three other men in lab coats are working. One of the men, named Dr. Coe, greets Spiffy and verifies how much they need his help and also that he is forced to secrecy. Dr. Coe has a bandage on the left side of his face. The original agent leaves and Spiffy sits down to talk to Dr. Coe. The doctor tells Spiffy that they have apprehended an alien named "Hoffgosh" and that it has superior scientific knowledge. But Hoffgosh's actions are childlike and only allows conversation when the scientists imitate its movements. While showing Spiffy a video of scientists trying to communicate with Hoffgosh, Spiffy notices a flaw in Dr. Coe's imitation. These flaws are not tolerated by Hoffgosh and have led it to losing any patience for Dr. Coe. He tells Spiffy that this is the reason that he was brought in--because his imitations are perfect. Spiffy is immediately put off by the suggestion of communicating with Hoffgosh, despite Dr. Coe's promise that he will be protected. He points to the injuries Dr. Coe suffered as evidence that he will not be protected well. Spiffy is still not convinced so Dr. Coe lets him know that Hoffgosh's ship runs on nuclear fusion and that if they are able to get the details from him, the energy needs of the United States will go away. Spiffy still declines. Dr. Coe tells Spiffy that Hoffgosh is not adapting to Earth's environment and must leave in order to survive, so there is very little time to get the details from it. Despite these comments, Spiffy still refuses to take part. When Spiffy gets up to leave, the man who kidnapped him comes into the room and asks for some alone time with Spiffy. Dr. Coe is about to object, but then a stern request from the agent causes all three men in lab coats to leave Spiffy alone with the agent. Spiffy asks the agent if he is going to physically threaten him, but the agent says no. He presents Spiffy with a document referencing charges made against Spiffy when he was in the army. Although the charges against Spiffy had been dropped, the agent threatens to bring them up again and lets Spiffy know that he could spend years in jail or simply try to communicate with Hoffgosh. Act III Spiffy is being fitted with a headset microphone. He has been studying Hoffgosh for three weeks and is positive that not only can he imitate Hoffgosh's movements, but that he could practically speak its language at this point. Dr. Coe insists that Spiffy limit himself to body language only. They prepare him and lead Spiffy into the area where he is to communicate with Hoffgosh. Spiffy enters the room and Hoffgosh immediately jumps away from him, making odd noises. Spiffy steps away from Hoffgosh and the alien jumps down. Spiffy tells Hoffgosh that he is its friend and not to fear him, as he mimics Hoffgosh's movements. Spiffy leads Hoffgosh over to a computer and things appear to be progressing well. When Spiffy looks up at the doctors, however, Hoffgosh grabs his hand and reacts negatively. The doctors rush in to separate Spiffy and Hoffgosh, subsequently leaving the room. Act IV A visibly shaken Spiffy is taken back into the observation room with the scientists. Dr. Coe asks Spiffy what happened, because the communication seemed to be going very good at first. Though he does not reveal what it was, Spiffy tells Dr. Coe that he knows what he did wrong. Spiffy's demeanor changes from one of panic to confidence as he tells the scientists that he will get Hoffgosh's communication down. Later Spiffy is seen copying Hoffgosh's movements from behind a window and then listening to some tapes. Spiffy is back in the room with Hoffgosh, copying his movements. He asks Hoffgosh why the alien will not communicate with him and appears very frustrated. Later Spiffy is in the room with the scientists and the federal agent. The agent feels Spiffy has been wasting their time and he suggests removing Spiffy from the project. Spiffy insists that removing him would be a mistake because he is very close to mastering the communication. The agent insists that he has been saying that for a long time. Spiffy, insulted, explains to the agent that the communication by Hoffgosh is unlike any communication ever used on Earth and they need to have patience while he attempts to master it. The agent doesn't want to hear it and tells Spiffy he is out. Dr. Coe agrees that Spiffy loses something when he is in the room with Hoffgosh. Spiffy is angry that the doctors forced him into the situation and are now trying to remove him when he feels close to success. He grabs the headset and storms towards Hoffgosh's room. Spiffy angrily tosses the headset away and looks at Hoffgosh as the scientists watch him from the observation window. Spiffy approaches Hoffgosh and starts moving and speaking Hoffgosh's language. Hoffgosh watches him closely. Spiffy raises his hand. Hoffgosh slowly brings its hand up and eventually they touch hands. As the scientists celebrate, Hoffgosh stands straight up and Spiffy remains knelt over. The room lightens up and a picture appears on the computer monitor. Spiffy looks amazingly happy. Act V TJ's nightclub is advertising Spiffy back by popular demand. Spiffy is back in his dressing room as the crowd is applauding. Pudgy comes into the dressing room and says that although he doesn't know where Spiffy has been for months, the audience is happy to have him back. However, he notices Spiffy does not look happy and asks why. Spiffy tells Pudgy that the act doesn't work for him anymore. Pudgy offers Spiffy time off and a raise, but Spiffy laments that Pudgy can't understand what he is going through. Spiffy leaves the night club and almost gets run over while crossing the street. A weird noise and a blinding light pierces the darkness and causes Spiffy to look up to see a spaceship. The space ship lands and Hoffgosh comes out. Spiffy seems very happy as the two communicate. They hold hands and walk into the spaceship. Trivia *The computer in the interrogation room is a Kaypro Robie personal computer, made in 1984. Category:Episodes Category:Season 2 Category:1985 Category:Written by Haskell Barkin